


Tropes through a broken lens

by Charlotte_Cherry



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-25 04:17:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17717876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Cherry/pseuds/Charlotte_Cherry
Summary: A wild day in Asgard. Parody fic poking fun at repeated tropes.





	Tropes through a broken lens

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of fun hopefully. Not meant to be taken seriously. I love reading fanfic and really appreciate fanfic writers, so this is in no way meant to diminish their work. Many times, I’ve been blown away by the talent of fic writers. This is just me being stupid and silly.

It was a normal day in Asgard, Heimdall was still being a peeping Tom, Sif had resting bitch face, the ginger one was stuffing his face, the blonde one that isn’t Thor was gazing at himself in a handheld mirror and Hogun was looking slightly constipated. 

In the royal quarters, Loki was reading, because he really loved to read, he did nothing else but read at the start of each scene, for he did love books. At one point, he even tried to consume one, for it has been universally decided that he hardly ever eats actual food due to his lean physique and at this point, he was getting rather hungry. 

Thor couldn’t decide is he was still an arrogant asshole or a reformed prince at this point, teetering between the two. He still hit things rather than use intellect, but sometimes felt remorse afterwards and tried to clean it up. Sure, several people had their skulls crushed now and then, but he did feel a bit bad afterwards. 

Their Mother, Frigga, had a soul made from silk blankets and cookies and could do no wrong. She is pretty much the only level headed one out of the bunch, apart from Heimdall, but then how level headed is a man that spies on people for a living? 

Their father, Odin, was prickly and sometimes outright mean, but it was for the good of the lands or something. He certainly liked to dish out harsh advice, but the revised timeline of recent years makes it difficult to take when you realise that this man used to be a murderous planet conqueror.

“You Oaf.” Loki said.

“What?” Said Thor.

“I have to call you an Oaf don’t you see? It’s the only insult I know. Nothing else but Oaf.”

“Yeah, well you are a magical nerd.”

After this little outburst, Odin entered the royal chambers and embraced Thor, then slapped Loki across the face. 

“Hello my sons. I’m off on royal duties for a week so behave thyselves.” (Introduce some old-style language, but just the odd word or so, this is of vital importance because it needs to sound selectively Shakespeare-like. Also no one quite knows how time passes on Asgard or how age actually works so a week could mean anything but whatever.) 

Odin left, leaving Loki still reading and Thor looking gormless. 

The warriors three then entered and swiftly the dynamic changed from one of turbulent brotherhood to a bullying circle, with Loki being verbally beaten in all directions, the poor, little, homicidal baby.

“Haha you're such a womanly, magic using, crap at fighting nerd.” They said together.

“Thank you. I will use this as another reason to justify murder.” Loki replied.

Sif didn’t hear his reply, for she was too busy gazing at Thor with desire and longing. 

Loki magicked himself out of the room, for he can now teleport when the narrative needs him to. It’s not quite clear what the limit of his magic actually is, once believed to be only illusion casting and shapeshifting, it seems he can pretty much do anything these days, except kill a Titan or do anything but try to stab things when under pressure.

He turned blue and was overcome with self-hatred, so this clearly justifies murder. 

Thor quickly became occupied and entranced by the mechanism of opening and closing a draw. Despite living in this realm his entire life, he was still incredibly stupid and never understood nuance or metaphors. But he is also smiley so it comes across as charming rather than frustrating somehow. He then went and found his brother, who was once again reading.

“Leave me alone.” Loki demanded.

Thor was taken aback. “And by that do you mean…?”

“Yes I mean come here. I am clearly lonely, now embrace me.”

This brotherly relationship between a jock viking and a mini-giant shapeshifter is clearly relatable. 

Loki proceeded to stab Thor but only a little bit.

“This is me showing affection.” He said.

Thor was grateful. They lived happily ever after.

Suddenly, Heimdall “I do not go against my Kings wishes” committed treason again but he has glowing eyes and looks kind of cool so it’s okay.

Then, Sif reinstated that she is a strong, independent woman and a pioneer for women despite there being an entire fleet of all women warrior Valkyries before her. To be fair to her though, this might have been a retcon. But she also hates Jane and is doing nothing for the jealous woman or love triangle stereotype.

Speaking of which, Jane appeared and said something intelligent and Thor nearly came right then and there. Darcy said something annoying. Erik wasn’t present because he was planning another national site to run around naked at, this time he was thinking maybe the London eye.

The Ginger one had nothing to add so continued to eat.

The blonde one that isn’t Thor was bedding several women right there on the couch in front of everyone. It was practically an orgy at this point but it’s a common occurrence so no one really cares.

Hogun still looked constipated.

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments welcome x


End file.
